WHY ARE YOU IN THAT RELATIONSHIP?

WORDS BY TAYO ADEJUMO

For any lady, whether we secretly acknowledge it or not, we all want to be in a relationship. We all desire the prefix ‘MRS ‘before our name. Likewise the dudes, you want someone to love you genuinely. You pray to have an understanding wife,a ‘perfect’ wife that will be the envy of those around you . All of these desires are common grounds for most of us, but our reasons for desiring are different.

This piece is basically directed towards outlining the wrong reasons people go into relationships
. First things first, THE WRONG EXPECTATIONS-

Going into a relationship should be based on love, and compatibility. When you have the wrong expectations, disappointment sets in which leads to hatred and frustration. If you are with him because he's rich or you are with her in order to guarantee yourself financial security, most definitely there will be a glitch .Whilst dating, its easy to be infatuated, when infatuated, everything seems right and perfect, then you have your own PROJECTIONS of him or her, you believe some certain things because you are carried away, you fail to weigh your options, you fail to see his pros and cons. You keep projecting awesomeness. At the end ,you start seeing the real ‘picture’. You see the real him or her, and problems set in, you start looking for a way out .Which might eventually lead to infidelity on your part.

I once had an experience way back in England. This guy I was dating had a girlfriend of 5 yrs in Nigeria. During our conversations her name always comes up. I am always so furious that in spite of me being with him, yet he is still emotionally connected to a girlfriend he hasn’t seen in a long while. I wanted to win him to me, and make him forget about his girl friend. When I achieved my aim, I realized we were not compatible.

A while back a friend of mine told me about a caption on the cover page of a Real estate magazine, which reads: “I need a man to marry to solve my accommodation problems" .if she indeed finds a man to marry, and get her dream house she will realize accommodation is going to be the least of her problems because human needs are unlimited. She will then have so many other needs that might not be met because she was blinded by her problem and went into a relationship for the wrong reason. She will then start wallowing in anger and pain because of her unmet expectations.




I have read stories of individuals who went into a relationship in order to secure their ‘Green card’ and live happily ever after. On the flip side, happiness eludes such people because behind their wrong motive, is a life of misery and confusion.

In Conclusion, friends don’t rush into a relationship. Work on yourself, know your desires, and be sure you have the right motive before you go into that relationship. Love yourself. Do this first, and you will soon attract that special loving other. Keep being your best self , while waiting. Waiting time is not wasted time.