BE THE STAR IN YOUR LIFE'S MOVIE
Sunday, January 8, 2012
9 DATING QUESTIONS MEN ARE DYING TO ASK BY JOY ISI BEWAJI
There are a couple of questions men are desperately dying to ask their women but it’s not so easy to just spill them out; you never know the kind of reaction an innocent question might trigger; something as simple as, ‘why do you have stretch marks all over your bum?’ Can trigger a no-sex-for-one-year response, so guys are careful.
I took the liberty to ask 9 guys just what they’d like to ask their women if it came with no repercussion; and I, as the female representative, gave freely the answers. You might find them controversial; but anyway here they are…
Q: Why do women wear heels so high they can barely walk in them?
A: I know you’ve seen women fall flat on their nose because they had four-inch heels on their soles. Nevertheless, high heels do make a woman more attractive. Her legs look longer, her strides are classier which would also aid the wriggle of her hips. See? A pair of heels has the ability to accentuate the female form causing the back to arch and pushing her bosom forward. Women feel sexy on heels. It gets her noticed because it takes her inches taller, and men love the exaggerated form of a woman, so it works. Heels elongate the legs, straighten the posture (thus pushing out the chest) and lift the bum.
In the fashion industry, when they say, ‘a woman can leave her house only in high heels,’ it translates to the fact that a pair of nice heels can save a woman’s look. She can put on just about anything, but with the right heels (and bag) she is transformed, miraculously!
Nobody said fashion would be easy, but it’s a lot of fun! Fine, we all know that high heels are very uncomfortable; they kill the ankle and leave you with an aching back! But who cares, as long as it makes you a sexy kitten for the hour, it’s fine!
Why does the average girl think I have to be grateful for sex? Don’t women enjoy sex too?
The brother disappearing after sex is so typical that it makes no headline anymore. Yes we do enjoy sex; however your attitude towards it elicits our detachment. Very often men walk out of a relationship after ‘a few sex’ (I know the guys would like an extensive talk on how untrue this is, but let’s leave that for another day), so that keeps the woman wary. She isn’t so sure if she should give in, even when she is dying to, because she’s afraid of losing you too soon; losing the sparks that come with your voice, afraid that the twinkle in your eyes will fade away, that you wouldn’t call as often as you normally would. So when she gives in, even though she is a willing participant, she is counting down to doom’s day – when it will come back and hit her right on the ass!
As women, we always believe a man’s desire is premature – he wants the sex before even getting to know your last name! On the reverse women want to know every single little detail about you before ‘getting down’.
Why do women wear too much makeup?
Apart from the many masquerades around with conflicting colours in and around the face; women wear makeup to feel sexy and look more attractive and feminine. Make up enhances our features, and we tend to hide some of the features that we find unappealing with makeup. Women express themselves through makeup; like high heels, it makes us more confident. Lines and wrinkles can be hidden temporarily with makeup; blemishes can disappear after applying makeup. So yes, we do feel a whole lot comfortable with some foundation and a dab of lip gloss.
Why oh why does a girl say ‘no’ when she really wants to scream ‘yes’?
It’s all in the chase, dude! You are the hunter and we are the elegant deer, see? It is a little too boring when she pops an excited ‘yes’ after the first date. So we go round in circles, until you ask and ask and bite your tongue! You might not know this, but deep down you love the chase, the thrill of the uncertain – whether you’ll get her or not, it’s almost orgasmic! So we do the whole hard-to-get for your own excitement (since we know you like the suspense). No man likes it easy; the whole exercise is lacklustre when it comes in a tray.
PS: but we do know the rules have changed! The era has brought with it a different set of rules. Women have the power now to do whatever you think was impossible a decade ago; like walk up to a guy at a bar and tell him just how much she’d like to give him a massage – tonight! Heehee!
Why are pretty girls dumb?
Beauty with intelligence is rare. There’s a wide gap between being pretty and being intelligent. Beautiful girls have learned that they can get whatever they want by using their looks; even the ones with the potential to be intelligent rarely bother to develop it. They have invested their time cheerleading rather than studying; reading Cosmopolitan and Glamour magazines rather than Times or even a ‘political correct’ magazine like Vanity Fair. This is, in many ways, a function of human culture which values the appearance of a woman more than her brains. So the typical girl neglects her brains and only increases her knowledge on lipsticks, perfumes, and lingerie which she believes is the whole essence of being female. Such a trade-off usually comes with devastating effects in the future because by neglecting her brains and increasing only her attractiveness she narrows her prospects in life to very unchallenging opportunities; also, intelligent men who are attracted to her will lose interest quickly enough. Of course, we have seen a healthy dose of intelligence that accompany some beautiful women, but truth is, you are not going to find her type lurking at every corner. She’s rare. But hey, men have no right to complain, no one ever comes with all the qualities required in life. As difficult as it is for brilliant men to find a complete woman, so it is for women searching to find the handsome dude with a good dose of emotional suaveness.
Why do women hate one another?
Women compete with each other at a societal level, the criteria for winning is usually set by others and the results are subjective and intangible. Women are usually judged by characteristics that they have little control over; something that they did not create, and that exist outside of themselves such as their physical appearance. A woman’s success is usually based on subjective, biased, external validation by others. No matter how successful she gets, she is going to hear outright remarks that drag all of her achievements to the mud just because she doesn’t exactly have the right butt size! How can you really be more beautiful than another woman, when the decision is nothing more than someone else’s opinion of beauty?
Most importantly, how can society continue to dictate to women what the standard of beauty is? Why should someone’s personal preference for a certain body size and shape, a particular eye colour or a fondness for light-skinned busty chicks make another woman feel less as a woman?
It is this need to get validation, most especially from men that drive women to the wall because they are repeatedly compared to other women in shallow ways that leave them (women) bitter, because unlike failure which can be worked on and a good result of success achieved after a while, beauty isn’t so easy to alter. If you are dark with a flat nose, big bones, flat chest and a butt as hard as rock, you cannot do much about it. That is where the hate comes – a woman accepts herself the way she is until society informs her that she is ‘ugly’, pointing to other women as examples of beauty that she can never attain.
Women are so busy competing with each other for male attention that they do not have the psychological, intellectual or emotional insight to change the social climate that is causing them to suffer from low-self esteem and hating on each other so much. And guess what; one of the reasons men who cheat are so successful at it is because women are in constant competition with each other!
Women believe that they are superior to other women if they are physically more attractive, not necessarily if they are more driven and successful. You hear women brag, “I am lighter, slimmer than my neighbour’s wife.”
A woman’s perception of self-worth is validated outside of her self from others and this affects her internal psychological concept of her own value as a human being. Women compete with other women because they have not learned how to recognize and channel their internal desires, feelings and goals into physical, tangible realities. Once women learn that they can not control or live vicariously through their children or the man in their life; they will stop hating each other so damn much and focus on their individual unique gifts, talents and assets.
What attracts a woman to a man?
Women want to be loved, it’s very simple. While all the physical attributes are a plus, and money is nice, what really matters is how a guy treats her. Money and muscles can fade away in time so you’ve got to have something more to keep her around. A man with some sort of a personality that is well-rounded is what most women are after.
Confidence is the single most important thing you can have on your side as a man – confidence backed with material headway in life. It’s going to be very difficult to get women to notice you, much less find you attractive if you have no confidence or aspiration. You can always do things to boost your confidence. Start by working on yourself, try to be a positive person and find humour in bad situations. Yes, women love men who know how to laugh at themselves.
And please do not confuse confidence with cockiness. Cockiness is dangerous, and while it may work for some guys – it doesn’t work for very long. Cocky guys enjoy putting others down to make themselves look good at another person’s expense. Any girl with a brain knows that a cocky guy is actually insecure and not worth wasting time on.
A sincere smile and the power of communication go a long way. Guys that are able to carry on a conversation are much more likely to get a girl’s number than someone who can’t. Be yourself when talking to a woman, and don’t be afraid to engage her friends in conversation as well. Coming right out and “hitting on” a girl is like shooting yourself in the foot. Talk to her as if you are friends with no pressure, you’re going to get her number much easier that way, and get her to like you sooner than later.
Why are girls looking for husbands only in churches these days?
Don’t they say nice guys go to church? We know how untrue that is these days as the church harbours all manner of people. But still, it just seems the proper place to seek a spouse. He might be in the choir on Sunday, and at the bar on Friday but the likelihood of you daydreaming of settling down with a man of reasonable spirituality is higher than the dude who is busy with half the girls in the club. So yes, women find the church boy good enough for marriage…but there is still something so desirable about that man who orders a Hennessey at the dark corner of the bar…
Why do girls like to move in groups?
We are a chatty lot, we love to talk. We love to share and we love to laugh. Society understands this and makes room for the girl-group. We hold hands, we kiss our cheeks and we flirt unashamedly with the harmless guy sitting alone because it’s just the way girls are!
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